It's time to say farewell to you who have been my steadfast companion for the past year. We've had twelve months...365 days...together, all packaged up in a calendar of seasons; of joyful moments, of sadness, of grief and of gratitude.
You were a year of great peace and deep calm settling within me and yet a year of sadness and such fatigue that at times I was hard pressed to put one foot in front of the other. Yes, you were a dichotomy dear 2012. Intense, yet peaceful. Sad, yet joyful. Some things dissolved and yet others that had dissolved, happily regrouped.
You were a year of shedding. Layers of outdated beliefs and old expectations fell away, even when I thought (or hoped) that there was nothing left to shed. And after the expectations fell, you were a year of focusing on simply "what is".
You were a year of allowing and accepting and with that, joy flooded in....seeping into all the small cracks and crevices at first and then completely engulfing my heart and soul. This...the joy, the allowing of joy...is what I will remember you for, long after you're gone. The joy of simply being here, being alive, experiencing it all, feeling it all. The joy of a heart cracked wide open.
So thank you 2012 for walking me through this year. Thankfully you weren't the firewalk of 2011, but more an epiphany of knowing that through it all and no matter what, joy can and always will be, my companion.
Sorrow prepares you for joy.
It violently sweeps everything out of your house, so that new joy can find space to enter.
It shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of your heart, so that fresh, green leaves can grow in their place.
It pulls up the rotten roots, so that new roots hidden beneath have room to grow.
Whatever sorrow shakes from your heart, far better things will take their place.
I've decided that I will continue on with my tradition of choosing "a word" for the year...so more on that next year!
And thank's to all for your kind words and well wishes after my Christmas "clearing". The stomach flu and a severe chest cold seem to be knocking out so many over the holidays...if you're one of them, I hope you too are on the road to recovery. (I'm still up one day and down the next but gradually getting healthier!) Huge hugs to all, dear friends as you wind up 2012 and prepare for the awesomeness of a new year...