This December I’m taking part in Reverb10…or at least as much of it as I can fit in!
Today’s prompt: December 5 – Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Author: Alice Bradley)
I thought I would get away with not explaining myself any further on prompt #1… but yesterday’s prompt picked right up on my theme of “Letting Go”. (I’ve been away again for five days visiting my dad so yesterday was spent driving through mountains and sailing the seas)
I’ve done a huge amount of letting go this year, starting with “stuff”. We downsized (our choice) from a large home to what seems in comparison, a very teensy, tiny one…with very little storage space. We still have some purging to do but we’ve sorted and carted loads of stuff to thrift shops and charity organizations. It’s been monumental, both physically and emotionally. There was one moment of despair and tears at the thought of letting go of even more of my mother’s “treasures”…letting go of her things feels like letting go of her…but on the whole it’s felt good. As in a “making room for new energy to come into my life”, kind-of-good.
I’ve let go of a lot emotionally as well. That seems to be an ongoing job and there’s always room to go deeper! The last ten years or so – since leaving work – have been all about moving into an acceptance of who I am and leaving the strivings of the work place behind. No more trying to prove myself to anyone, no more feeling that I need to look younger and accomplish more. It’s become more about satisfying me.
This year in particular I’ve finally come to rest in a place of letting go of feeling responsible for everyone’s happiness.
IT’S NOT MY JOB.
None of us are responsible for making anyone else happy. When we take “our stuff” out of the mix, It tells others that you honour their own strength and trust that they can find their own happiness and joy. It’s not selfish or self absorbed to be kind to ourselves first and foremost. It’s essential. It’s loving. And it’s taken me a long time to get here.
Wishing you all a beautiful journey of self love,
(the photograph above is actually two photographs of tree branches that were taken while at my dad’s last week, and then merged with two textures (the birds and a sky background) from Michelle Black. Ahhh, the magic and mystery of Photoshop!)
I didn't know that you could merge pictures and backgrounds, so I appreciate your explaining that. It's beautiful. I liked this post a lot because you shared more about yourself in this one, and I feel like I understand some things that you've alluded to better. Letting go...one of the hardest, yet most important tasks we have to do here on earth right up to the very end. Beautiful post, kate. xoO
Posted by: Olivia Brown | 12/06/2010 at 05:16 PM
Fantastic photo manipulation, Kate.
I haven't quite reached the place where I can step back fully from others and be a little selfish...although I do long to. Sometimes, I feel like I sacrifice myself way too much to make others happy. Great post!
Posted by: Serena | 12/06/2010 at 09:42 PM
I love this post. I feel exactly as you do - the need to downsize things in order to make room for new energy. When my husband retires (hopefully in three years) our intention is to do exactly as you've done. I'm ready to be unencumbered, especially by other people's responsibilities to themselves. I feel like saying - go fix it - I'm not in charge anymore!
Posted by: nancy | 12/07/2010 at 08:28 AM
What a wonderful post.
Posted by: Lisa | 12/07/2010 at 02:03 PM
It is NOT easy remembering that we're not responsible for the happiness (or moods) of others. At least, I find that the most difficult in the Let Go list.
Purging is hard too. It's so easy to become emotionally attached to 'things'. And then, somehow - it's not as difficult as it once was. Perhaps it's like a muscle ~ you get stronger the more you practice.
I liked this insight into your life. Thank you ...
Posted by: Sally G. | 12/14/2010 at 11:55 AM