Dear 2012,
It's time to say farewell to you who have been my steadfast companion for the past year. We've had twelve months...365 days...together, all packaged up in a calendar of seasons; of joyful moments, of sadness, of grief and of gratitude.
You were a year of great peace and deep calm settling within me and yet a year of sadness and such fatigue that at times I was hard pressed to put one foot in front of the other. Yes, you were a dichotomy dear 2012. Intense, yet peaceful. Sad, yet joyful. Some things dissolved and yet others that had dissolved, happily regrouped.
My Christmas card for this year (made from a 3 1/2" manilla tag)
You were a year of shedding. Layers of outdated beliefs and old expectations fell away, even when I thought (or hoped) that there was nothing left to shed. And after the expectations fell, you were a year of focusing on simply "what is".
You were a year of allowing and accepting and with that, joy flooded in....seeping into all the small cracks and crevices at first and then completely engulfing my heart and soul. This...the joy, the allowing of joy...is what I will remember you for, long after you're gone. The joy of simply being here, being alive, experiencing it all, feeling it all. The joy of a heart cracked wide open.
So thank you 2012 for walking me through this year. Thankfully you weren't the firewalk of 2011, but more an epiphany of knowing that through it all and no matter what, joy can and always will be, my companion.
Sorrow prepares you for joy.
It violently sweeps everything out of your house, so that new joy can find space to enter.
It shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of your heart, so that fresh, green leaves can grow in their place.
It pulls up the rotten roots, so that new roots hidden beneath have room to grow.
Whatever sorrow shakes from your heart, far better things will take their place.
Rumi
I've decided that I will continue on with my tradition of choosing "a word" for the year...so more on that next year!
And thank's to all for your kind words and well wishes after my Christmas "clearing". The stomach flu and a severe chest cold seem to be knocking out so many over the holidays...if you're one of them, I hope you too are on the road to recovery. (I'm still up one day and down the next but gradually getting healthier!) Huge hugs to all, dear friends as you wind up 2012 and prepare for the awesomeness of a new year...
Happy New Year Kate! I hope your health continues to improve. Take it easy... you've had lots to deal with this year..... I'm looking forward to visiting you again in 2013 xox
Posted by: Patti | 12/31/2012 at 01:13 AM
O what beautiful sentiments for the end of the year Kate. While I read your post I thought about my own hopes, dreams, happy times, sad times. Thought about the loss of more than a few people I love and will miss dearly. On the other hand though I'm looking forward to a fresh start and am anxious to see what unfolds in 2013. I've made a list of goals, not resolutions, I want to accomplish in the new year. Wishing you and yours a very Happy, Healthy & Prosperous New Year!!!
Posted by: Chris O | 12/31/2012 at 04:43 AM
Beautiful post, Kate. And, I'm so sorry to hear that you were sick over Christmas... but, I have to tell you that your sick-and-with-a-phone-camera photo is GREAT. How do you do that? ;) I'm doing a word, too... I've wishy-washed several times... still can't totally settle on one... but, I love the idea of a word for year instead of resolutions. Continue to get better!! blessings and happy new year! tanna
Posted by: tanna | 12/31/2012 at 05:29 AM
May 2013 be good to you, Kate. Sorry you are ill, and happy you are on the mend.
I have several words to choose from this year, I may end up with more than one! Curious about your choice, and will read about it in next year! Love Ruth
Posted by: Ruth | 12/31/2012 at 01:41 PM
Happy New Year, kate. I know it was indeed a difficult year for you, and I am glad that it had so much accompanying joy as well. I will be eager to hear about your word. I have mine as well for 2013, which is "clarity". I hope that you have a good celebration tonight, whatever you choose to do. I am going to be reading a good book :) xoO
Posted by: olivia | 12/31/2012 at 05:03 PM